While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
