We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
