We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
