so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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