somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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