apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
