You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
