I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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