Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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