I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
