I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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