i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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