i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we made out on top of his cat.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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