she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
