u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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