he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
