cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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