im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
