If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize