I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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