He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
