hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
