oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
