do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
