After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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