please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
