No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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