trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
