Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
