We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
