i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Randomize
