how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
only you would photoshop your dick
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
