i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I could fuck to npr.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
