You work out of a Hotel?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
