If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize