I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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