The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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