I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize