i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
