all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize