so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
