i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
