come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I party with great urgency now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
