you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
