I think I died a long time ago.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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