just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
