She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
