I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize