i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You've changed since you got that strap on
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
