Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
