hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
