He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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