I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
