We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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