Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
