real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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