You're so nebulous sometimes
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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