i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
