Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
