well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
