You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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