So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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