i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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