your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
