I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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