Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
