after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
