If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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