Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
