I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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