I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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