the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize