i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize