we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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