Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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