the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
